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Wednesday, 27 April 2011

MTV success for Context MC

BBC article on Context MC's 'Off With Their Heads' being snapped up by MTV.

BNOCh Powell

Absolute Lad.

Bnoch Powell, Rivers of Beer - 20 April 1968.

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Great proofreading, Xxxfirstname

The Independent, xxxdaymonthyear.

4chan, law and epilepsy

Sometimes, you've got to love 4chan. Sometimes, such as when they turn a site for epilepsy sufferers into a flashing strobe gif,  not so much (but the idea's still pretty funny).

"the /b/ board on 4chan is renowned for having a soft spot for cats. It hates and derides everything else, but it will pursue cat abusers to the ends of the earth."

More info on 4chan/Anonymous.

Monday, 25 April 2011

Brad Pitt and time travel

Brad Pitt is currently working on 28 films. 28 full-length, women-wet-in-the-cinema feature films. I'm a busy guy, but even my to-do list has only 20 items on it and six of them just say "make a video about Dingly".  Brad Pitt working on 28 films is interesting in its own right, and is in fact the third most interesting thing I learnt yesterday (after "horses can't vomit" and "Ewan McGregor considered injecting himself with heroin to better understand his role in Trainspotting"), but it also explains a major part of Pitt's acting career: he's always eating in films because it's the only fucking chance he gets. 

His work schedule is even more astonishing when you consider his home life: between being married to crazy sexcase Angelina Jolie and raising their horde of ethnically challenged children, his life must be a whirlwind of fragging and adoption papers, so how does he fit it all in?

Time travel, that's how. It's the only answer that makes sense. Brad Pitt has the ability to manipulate time and relive each day, cramming in those extra hours like a voracious Phil Connors or Hermione Granger. Those aren't special effects in Meet Joe Black and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, it's just Pitt chronoshifting when the director needs him to age differently. It even answers the theories surrounding Twelve Monkeys: Bruce Willis actually was travelling through time, helped by Jeffrey Goines played, of course, by Brad Pitt. As if that wasn't proof enough, he was even meant to play Henry DeTamble in the Time Traveler's Wife, with Jennifer Aniston playing Clare Abshire, but then along came Jolie and her lips and Aniston was doomed to a life of singledom and being the best thing in crappy movies. 

I'm so stunned by the success of my own theory that I don't really know how to finish this article, but I'll leave you with one thought: nobody knows where Troy was filmed. Could it have been during the Trojan War itself? I wouldn't rule it out.


Sunday, 24 April 2011

Saturday, 23 April 2011

Sexual content, followed by weather.

Newsnight's getting horny in its old age.
                                           (Picture courtesy of Kathryn Watson on the Hub).

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

Sugarhands fail

Sugarhands fail.

2 a.m., Cambridge Travelodge. Sugarhands fancies some TeamTeasers, overpriced at £1.80. The Legend leaves the bag hanging in the slot, the Sugarhand yanks the bag out too quickly and his precious sugar goes everywhere. An ethnically challenged child then came and stole the floor-food.

Sunday, 10 April 2011

Cambridge tripos exam instructions: heavy stuff

IRRELEVANCE WILL BE PENALISED. 
EXTERMINATE, EXTERMINATE!
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